


Zombies and Basktballs.  (And Other Awkward Conversations)

by goddess_julie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Awkward Conversations, Banter, M/M, No Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-28 02:23:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15038573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddess_julie/pseuds/goddess_julie
Summary: Liam isn't paying attention to what Niall is rambling about.  When he's let in on the conversation, it's a lot more awkward and uncomfortable than he expects.Really, all the lads have a laugh at Liam's discomfort.  Except for Zayn who knows that Liam's discomfort will ultimately affect him too!





	Zombies and Basktballs.  (And Other Awkward Conversations)

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'ed. All mistakes are my own. I just started writing this a few weeks ago and then left it near the beginning. I opened it today and the rest just flowed out! I love randomness and these boys and just the conversations I could definitely see them all having.

“I have two things on my mind: basketball and zombies.”

“Mate, I don’t even know what that means,” Liam says without looking up from his phone. He’s been listening to Niall ramble nonsensical nonsense for the better part of an hour and the most that Liam is capable of at this point is brutal honesty. He tried being supportive, which then turned into indifference and now he’s a few comments from deaf ignorance. Niall shifts his weight on the couch beside him and Liam is aware that two blue eyes are focused on him intently.

“What are you on about?” Niall asks with a mask of genuine confusion. Liam affords a glance up from the screen of his phone and meets Niall’s gaze.

“Me?”

“Who else is here?” Niall asks which causes for Liam to actually sit up and look around. There is no one else in the café at the moment, which he knew since it’s technically closed and they’re alone except for Harry and Zayn in the back, closing things up before they can finally leave.

“Well, no one. But …” Liam is honestly confused as to where this conversation got lost to. “What?” Maybe he should have been paying at least a little attention because now Niall is staring at him like he’s the crazy one and Liam has no idea what is happening.

“What are you going on about? Who are you talking to?”

Liam’s eyes bug out and he sputters. “Who am I talking to? I’m talking to you. You’re the one talking about basketball and zombies and what the fuck?” He watches as Niall’s expression changes and he shakes his head slowly.

“I didn’t say anything about basketball or zombies. I said I need to stop at the mall. Need to hit up Abercrombie.”

It’s Zayn and Harry’s laughter which causes for Niall’s expression to change and within seconds the three of them are doubled over in hysterics. Liam is still sputtering, he heard what he heard. He knows what Niall said and before he can argue Zayn crawls onto his lap and kisses the tip of his nose. 

“So fucking cute,” he murmurs against Liam’s lips. “Nialler’s messing with you. You haven’t heard a word he’s said and he’s just been saying random shit to see if you’ll react.”

“Thought you’d lose it when he said he was gonna take your sister out and show her his true Irish pride if I’m being honest,” Harry admits with a chuckle as he sits on the arm of the couch beside them.

Liam’s eyes fly to meet Niall’s, the blonde who is just grinning at him madly and shrugs. “Didn’t even flinch, mate.”

“Fuck you,” Liam can’t stop the laugh that escapes. He pulls Zayn closer on his lap and nuzzles his throat with his nose. “Sides, you couldn’t handle my sister.”

Zayn chuckles against Liam’s face. “Li. This is Nialler we’re talking about. That is an invitation for him to do just exactly that. Like you're daring him to go out and shag your sister.”

“And then rub it in your face afterwards,” Niall agrees with a snort. He pauses for a moment at the look of disgust and horror on Liam’s face, the shock on Zayn and Harry’s, he squawks awkwardly. “Not IT… but like, you know, it’s a saying. Rub it in your face in it. Brag that I shagged your sister. Like, not LITERALLY rub your face in anything but figuratively…”

Niall groans as Zayn pushes Liam off of his lap to reach over and punch him in the balls. Hard.

“Owww, what’s that for mate?” Niall is rolling around on the edge of the couch, clutching his groin in pain.

“THAT,” Zayn hisses as he tries unsuccessfully to punch Niall’s dick again. The Irishman is able to scramble away before Zayn lands another blow. “THAT,” he repeats, “is for you traumatizing Liam which means I’ll be jerking off alone tonight.”

“Rub it in my face,” Liam mumbles into his hand. “I don’t want to see my sister’s…”

“NOT WHAT I MEANT…” Niall shouts with a laugh. “And fuck all three of you for being demented enough to take it there.”

“You know he’s not going to be able to let that visual go,” Zayn laments as he watches Liam’s face go through a multitude of expressions.

Harry, who has been relatively quiet up until now clears his throat. “Which sister?”

Liam’s eyes widen while Niall barks out a laugh. Zayn covers his face in his hands and shakes his head sadly. “It’s like none of you ever want me to get laid again.”

“What?” Liam squeaks. 

Niall cocks his head to the side and thinks about it as Harry says, “Which sister would Niall shag? Nic or Ruth?”

“Neither!” Liam shouts.

“Nic,” Zayn affords guess.

“Both,” Niall admits. “Both. Either. Whatever.” When Liam gasps Niall shrugs and grins at him. “Hey Leemo, if you were a girl I’d bang you too. Good genes your family has.” He then turns to Harry and nods in his direction. “Gems too.”

Much to Liam’s surprise, Harry can only shrug with acceptance. “Fair enough. She could do worse.” Harry turns to focus on Liam who is surprised at his easy acceptance of Niall’s claim. “What? She’s an adult. He’s an adult. Sex is healthy Liam.” 

Zayn snickers at the teasing tone of Harry’s voice. 

“And really, there are lads out there that would treat her worse than our Nialler here. If she’s going to be shagging anyone, I can only hope it’s with someone I love and trust to treat her well.”

Before anyone can respond there is a knock at the window that startles everyone. Zayn yelps in relief when he sees Louis standing at the window, mutinous expression on his face and hair dripping from where it’s pouring madly outside. Louis is soaking wet and against his better judgement, Zayn runs to the door to let him in.

“Five minutes I’ve been out here in the pissing rain,” Louis bellows as he shoves Zayn out of his way. “You lot were supposed to meet me at Murphy’s for pints. I waited there and when no one came, I figured I’d dash over here to get you.”

Murphy’s Pub was their local, a small pub down the street from the Café that the five usually went to after close to unwind. Checking his watch, Liam was startled to see that it was nearly 11, they were to meet Louis at 10:15. 

“I’m sorry mate,” Zayn apologized as Harry went into the back to grab a towel and some fresh clothes for Louis. “We didn’t even realize how late it was. 

“Yeah, Nialler here is trying to see how badly he can scar me with visuals of him shagging my sister,” Liam pouts. His pouting causes for Zayn to pull him into his arms and run his fingers through his hair affectionately. He leans into Zayn’s embrace and doesn’t stop from whimpering against his throat.

“Which sister?” Louis asks as he uses the towel to dry off his hair. Liam huffs in annoyance as Louis starts to strip down in front of them, not at all concerned about modesty.

“Both,” Niall admits as he plays with his phone.

“At the same time?” Louis tuts. “Greedy Nialler.”

“Okay enough,” Zayn begs. “It’s bad enough that Liam is traumatized about his sisters shagging anyone. But now I’m going to be suffering from it and…”

“And we know what a bitch Zee is when he’s not getting his ass rammed daily,” Louis snickers as he pulls up the trackies Harry has presented him with and slides into a tee shirt and hoodie. 

Zayn waits for someone, anyone to defend him. Even Liam offers him an apologetic shrug as if to say ‘sorry, he’s right’.

“Fuck all of you,” Zayn whines. He stands up and pulls Liam up with him from the couch. “Let’s go, do we still want pints?”

Niall and Harry stare at him like he’s gone crazy and Louis gives a menacing growl.

“I was warm and comfy at home watching telly in my pants. I got dressed to come out and meet you, got soaking wet and now am going commando in Harry’s trackies…”

“Not the first time,” Niall chimes in.

“Won’t be the last,” Harry winks.

“Excuse me lads,” Louis interrupts with a wave of his hand. “As I was saying, I did not leave my house, get soaking wet only to go back to where I started without pints and chips.”

Zayn and Liam are first to leave with shouts that they’ll meet them at Murphy’s as they run out the door and trying to make it to the pub without getting too wet. Niall and Louis stand under the awning as Harry sets the alarm, locks the door and pulls down the gate for security.

“Gems?” Louis asks Niall conversationally.

“In a SECOND,” Niall answers. “You?”

“Hey,” Harry warns. He tries to be menacing but only manages to look like an angry kitten. Niall and Louis don’t try to hold in their laughter.

“Nah, I got my Styles sibling,” Louis punctuates his statement with a quick kiss to Harry’s lips. As Harry pulls him in for a hug he winks at Niall over his shoulder and gives him a knowing smile.

“I heard that,” Harry laughs as he pulls away. He grabs Louis’ hand with one and Niall’s with his other. “Now lets run before Liam and Zee convince the bartender not to serve any of us as payback.”

“So fragile our Payno,” Louis cackles as they run down the street. “Lets see how uncomfortable we can make him.”

Niall’s roaring laughter is the only answer Louis needs.

Finis


End file.
